She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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