Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
