hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
