if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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