Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
