So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
