At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
two words...techno handjob
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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