he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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