I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
