Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I faked an abortion last night.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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