im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
