How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize