oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
