youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
