The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
