If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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