My nipple is on Facebook.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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