Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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