Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
