I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize