so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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