Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
