What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
