we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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