You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
