Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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