Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
