Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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