I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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