She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ladies don't puke and tell
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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