i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
