Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
