I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize