You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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