There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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