He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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