I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Who died my cat blue again?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
