Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
