I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
