I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
