just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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