but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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