she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
