Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
