I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
