I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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