is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
