Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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