so explain again why im purple
no
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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