she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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