Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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