Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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