Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
