i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
