she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The air was thick with penises
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize