I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
