he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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