My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
