Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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