it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize