yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm at about main and main street
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
