OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize